Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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