im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
