just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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