I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
