Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
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Found your dick twin last night
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
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Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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