i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
