when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
