In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
