dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
