I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
