no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize