Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
