Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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