i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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