She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
i've created a new STD.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize