We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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