Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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