I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I have tasted many bathrooms
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