Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
