Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
