C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
