fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
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