It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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