the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
