"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
