all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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