I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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