please come you make the beer taste better
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
