It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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