I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
