Four minutes until I can fart!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Drake has all the answers
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
