sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
People in love make me want to vomit
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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