every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
