when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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