Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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