so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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