im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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