Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
God, I missed his penis.
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