I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
