I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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