If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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