Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
