Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
