The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
