I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
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your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
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I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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