ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
