We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
