Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize