Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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