New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
