I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
