i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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