Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
