Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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