I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
This is my gift to your gina
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
