Can i not drive my cunt home
her vagine was all disorganized.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
