I look better un-naked...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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