I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
