It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
