Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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