The maid of honor just puked.
So drunk its hurt
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize