Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
