What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
