My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Randomize
